What Would Your Avie Do?
In Second Life I'm kaia. kaia and I have always been one as far as I could tell. I don't approach the metaverse with a role playing or gamer mentality. Anyone who knows me knows my approach to others whether in flesh or avatar is that they are spirits, like me, like all of us are. That said, something strange happened yesterday that got me thinking.
On particularly intense caffeine induced frenzy I decided it was time to create a full website for Nocturnal Threads. Several hours later, it was completed and I went on to work on other stuff. The following day, I remembered that I created the site, but had only a vague recollection of the layout or text. The thought that it was kaia who actually worked on the site flickered in my mind for a moment. This was an odd sensation to say the least. My first reaction was, "OMG. I must be mad." After reviewing the site, I realized that there was an undeniable kaia energy present somewhere between the lines of text and graphics. Of course, I am kaia and kaia is me, so what the hell am I talking about?
After a year of interacting and working within this metaverse, I believe that I have projected certain energies into kaia and this seemingly insane "kaia did it" concept was really accurate in that I had and have channeled kaia into my work. By this I mean, that certain energies are present when I am engaged in kaia-oriented projects and or interactions. Of course, these energies are within my spirit and life, but they are embraced and drawn upon frequently when I'm in-world. Since I refer to positive energies, I had to admit that at times, I could use a little more kaia in my real life dealings.
When I reflect on some of the many discussions I have had in-world, I can't help to think I am on to something. Are there aspects of ones personality that for some reason are able to emerge with unbridled freedom in a virtual platform that are less intense in real life? Conversations with F--- had revealed that in his daily life he was uncomfortable in social situations and often approached situations and people with a hostility that you would never believe even existed in this sweet avatar. SL had become a place for F--- to interact in a totally new way. The thing is, he insisted on seeing his avatar as so separate from himself. I say, if you are able to bring forth positive approaches in avatar form, there is nothing stopping you from channeling this same energy into your daily life.
Another friend, recently mentioned that she had been engaged in a tournament that she had done exceedingly well in. She commented that she felt a bit of her avatar was at the tournament with her. She asked me if this made sense and yes, it did. Her avatar is playful, cocky and confident. Why wouldn't channeling these attributes be a contributing factor in her success at this competition? What is important for her and all of us to realize that if there are certain attributes present within us in-world, they are equally present out. It is merely a matter of tapping into them.
Yet another dear SL friend is unbelievably shy in real life. While the shyness is present to a degree in-world, he admits he is way more out-going in avatar form. He once said he couldn't even look people in the eye in real life and this made me weep at my keyboard, because he is so beautiful and loves without pretenses or restrictions with this pure open heart. This is easily visible if you get to know him even a tiny bit in SL and I know for a fact that this is part of his Spirit. To think of this amazing spirit being repressed in real life just saddened me deeply.
In my path, we are focused on raising the spirit above the head. The head is formed by parents, society, relationships, etc. There are negative attributes which we are quick to write off as just simply how we are, when in fact they are not of our spirit but purely head bullshit. For example, the person who admits to reacting to many situations in real life with anger and defensiveness which causes him a lot of trouble believes this is just how he is. Yet, he is able to approach things in a far more productive way in SL. He does not fear socializing in SL as he does in RL. The truth is he is allowing his Spirit a bit of room to step forward in-world. In his daily life he uses the same tired defense mechanisms that he has developed as a result of life experiences. This is how he has trained himself to be. This is his head and not his Spirit.
What has astounded me in the course of a year's immersion in this platform is how often people are able to tap into aspects of their spirits that they never allowed themselves to tap into in RL. Of all places for the Spirit to awaken! One imagines a hilltop retreat and deep meditation or some such scenario, not traipsing around a pixelated world. Yet, it happens. I see it all the time.
In closing I propose a challenge. Meditate on your strengths and weaknesses. Think about which strengths are more present in-world or which mental weaknesses are not apparent when you're in avatar form. The next time you are in a situation in your life where your weakness is rearing its ugly head or your strength would be beneficial, channel your avatar. Ask yourself how your avie would react and apply it to the situation. But, know and understand that you are simply embracing an energy that lies within you and always has. You are merely removing your head and applying your Spirit.
On particularly intense caffeine induced frenzy I decided it was time to create a full website for Nocturnal Threads. Several hours later, it was completed and I went on to work on other stuff. The following day, I remembered that I created the site, but had only a vague recollection of the layout or text. The thought that it was kaia who actually worked on the site flickered in my mind for a moment. This was an odd sensation to say the least. My first reaction was, "OMG. I must be mad." After reviewing the site, I realized that there was an undeniable kaia energy present somewhere between the lines of text and graphics. Of course, I am kaia and kaia is me, so what the hell am I talking about?
After a year of interacting and working within this metaverse, I believe that I have projected certain energies into kaia and this seemingly insane "kaia did it" concept was really accurate in that I had and have channeled kaia into my work. By this I mean, that certain energies are present when I am engaged in kaia-oriented projects and or interactions. Of course, these energies are within my spirit and life, but they are embraced and drawn upon frequently when I'm in-world. Since I refer to positive energies, I had to admit that at times, I could use a little more kaia in my real life dealings.
When I reflect on some of the many discussions I have had in-world, I can't help to think I am on to something. Are there aspects of ones personality that for some reason are able to emerge with unbridled freedom in a virtual platform that are less intense in real life? Conversations with F--- had revealed that in his daily life he was uncomfortable in social situations and often approached situations and people with a hostility that you would never believe even existed in this sweet avatar. SL had become a place for F--- to interact in a totally new way. The thing is, he insisted on seeing his avatar as so separate from himself. I say, if you are able to bring forth positive approaches in avatar form, there is nothing stopping you from channeling this same energy into your daily life.
Another friend, recently mentioned that she had been engaged in a tournament that she had done exceedingly well in. She commented that she felt a bit of her avatar was at the tournament with her. She asked me if this made sense and yes, it did. Her avatar is playful, cocky and confident. Why wouldn't channeling these attributes be a contributing factor in her success at this competition? What is important for her and all of us to realize that if there are certain attributes present within us in-world, they are equally present out. It is merely a matter of tapping into them.
Yet another dear SL friend is unbelievably shy in real life. While the shyness is present to a degree in-world, he admits he is way more out-going in avatar form. He once said he couldn't even look people in the eye in real life and this made me weep at my keyboard, because he is so beautiful and loves without pretenses or restrictions with this pure open heart. This is easily visible if you get to know him even a tiny bit in SL and I know for a fact that this is part of his Spirit. To think of this amazing spirit being repressed in real life just saddened me deeply.
In my path, we are focused on raising the spirit above the head. The head is formed by parents, society, relationships, etc. There are negative attributes which we are quick to write off as just simply how we are, when in fact they are not of our spirit but purely head bullshit. For example, the person who admits to reacting to many situations in real life with anger and defensiveness which causes him a lot of trouble believes this is just how he is. Yet, he is able to approach things in a far more productive way in SL. He does not fear socializing in SL as he does in RL. The truth is he is allowing his Spirit a bit of room to step forward in-world. In his daily life he uses the same tired defense mechanisms that he has developed as a result of life experiences. This is how he has trained himself to be. This is his head and not his Spirit.
What has astounded me in the course of a year's immersion in this platform is how often people are able to tap into aspects of their spirits that they never allowed themselves to tap into in RL. Of all places for the Spirit to awaken! One imagines a hilltop retreat and deep meditation or some such scenario, not traipsing around a pixelated world. Yet, it happens. I see it all the time.
In closing I propose a challenge. Meditate on your strengths and weaknesses. Think about which strengths are more present in-world or which mental weaknesses are not apparent when you're in avatar form. The next time you are in a situation in your life where your weakness is rearing its ugly head or your strength would be beneficial, channel your avatar. Ask yourself how your avie would react and apply it to the situation. But, know and understand that you are simply embracing an energy that lies within you and always has. You are merely removing your head and applying your Spirit.
posted by kaia Ennui at 11:29 PM
10 Comments:
You raise some excellent points in this entry Kaia. I agree that we are tapping into parts of ourselves in SL that are not so easily accessed in real life. I can't help but think that environment also contributes to our unwillingness to be our "whole selves" in real life. Second Life is a place where almost anything is possible. I feel that freedom in SL much more than I do in real life. I feel such a sense of infinity in Second Life, but also a little fear that it will go away, end, be closed, etc. I think the more comfortable we feel in SL, the more our spirits are allowed free reign. We don't have to call on those energies, they just are there. Really, really great topic. Thanks :)
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thanks for reading sansarya. i only deleted the duplicate post. my fault because I had it set so i had to publish comments manually and you probably thought it wasn't working. that setting is off now so anyone can publish.
yes, our environment contributes for sure. but what is it about our environment that holds us back? is it our family, friends, job or society in general? but how does the environment truly hold us back? again, i return to "the head" because it is the head which is worried about what the environment will think, how will it react, etc. your spirit doesn't have these concerns. that said, i have to say easier said than done, but well worth the effort.
i'm glad you feel such freedom in SL and wish you the same in RL. It is definitely a platform for people to grow and learn from. i can't tell you how many conversations i have with people who are realizing things about themselves in world that is opening them up in their real life now as well. i'm talking geniune impact.
i know not everyone is having life altering experiences, but maybe because i approach SL with my spirit, i cross paths with so many who are.
anyway, i'm glad you came by and thanks for commenting. i'm kind of surprised anyone is reading this. :O
Hey Kaia,
Very interesting post.
Your idea about people's true spirits shining through in-world is something I hadn't thought about, but you could actually be on to something now that I'm thinking about it more. For me the 2 worlds are, much like you, meshed.
I have been contemplating a personal issue I had based on a recent experience in SL and my thoughts expanded to larger subjects, sort abstracting the issue and lifting it to a higher level. Which leads to all kinds of phylosophical questions...
Anyway, the issue deals with behavioural aspects in-word I guess, call it an etiquette issue.
When someone you meet, offers friendship, how should that be seen? I mean is it Ok then for the person who accepted the offer to try and make contact with that person? I would think yes, but maybe I'm mistaken. Then when the person who offered the friendship in the first place does not react to repeated attempts to make new contact (throught IM), how should that be viewed?
Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive (very well possible) and the other person is simply overwhelmed with IM's from other people that my messages were drowned out by the others. Another explanation could be a technical failure, although unlikely as the failures would have had to coincide with my multiple attempts to make contact, which seems unlikely...
So I'm left feeling ignored by someone with whom I thought I had some kind of connection with.
Again maybe just me being silly to think that there even was a connection in the first place. Be that as it may, the fact that I feel ignored remains and honestly kind of hurts a little. Nothing I won't be able to get over, but enough for me to be wanting to make this post and asking others how they feel about it (sorry to mis-use your blog for this...).
So... I was wondering if you (or anyone reading this) had any thoughts on it.
BTW, in case you're wondering, I found your page by going through SLprofiles and finding one of your comments there...
Hi Serge. Thanks for stopping by.
I don't know about the friends thing. I mean some people do it the second I land somewhere and that is kinda creepy. There was one girl who obviously did it to everyone so she could spam them and send random tps to promote her clothing store. I think that is despicable and obnoxious, personally. She was deleted from mine.
However, if I have engaged in some conversation with someone and they offer friendship, i accept. I don't assume they are now my best pal and we will chat daily but I often make a note on their profile so i recall how we met and what we discussed so when we run into eachother again, i know why i liked them. Sometimes it's months before we do, but may end up being closer friends down the road. Or perhaps not. I dont read too deeply into the offer friendship thing or assume it is some deep connection by that factor alone.
Whether or not you made a connection with this person can't be determined by the click of a button. Did you have a meaningful discussion? The fact that an IM effort after the fact, yielded no reply might indicate it was a friendly interaction but the other party didn't put much weight on it.
If you IM multiple times, they might just be annoyed. I wouldn't over analyze or feel hurt. If you are still interested in further interactions, just leave them on your friends list and see what happens down the road. The ball is in their court, so to speak.
Hey Kaia,
You're prolly right, maybe I am reading too much in it and indeed, the person did own a shop, so who knows what the motives were.
I did think we did make a meaningful connection especially considering we had a couple of amazing similarities in our SL/RL's. The person also mentioned to IM anytime for anything. Perhaps naive to think it was actually a sincere offer and not just to be nice.
I certainly did not abuse this offer or spammed the person. Just a 3 or 4 IM's over the course of a week or 2.
I don't know... as you can prolly gather I still have mixed feelings about it, but feel better to have 'thrown' it out there :-)
Anyway great to have this dialog and I'll be trackin your site for new posts ;-)
Intriguing and thought-provoking post, kaia.
I agree that alternate realms (like Second Life) can spring forth different ways of thinking and operating.
But this also happens in real life.
I am the same person yet act and speak differently when talking with my little half-sister, my composure and perceptions change when around my closest friends, which looks rather different from how I carry myself and speak in a business setting. Again, I modify my actions and perceptions when speaking with elders, and again when being observed by an attractive female stranger (perhaps less so if my wife is with me).
My point is, we are flexible enough to modify our perspectives, thoughts, and other interactive components of ourselves in relation to our environments. It tends to be an unconscious thing, an example of a conscious change would probably be when going through basic training in the military (at least initially).
So how does this play into Second Life? We, at varying levels, change how we operate, perceive, and interact. Some changes are purely social in nature, others are based off of desires (some perhaps not acted upon offline). Others are experimentations, and finally there's the hardcoded environment. By that I mean, we type rather than speak, we're somewhat restricted in bodily expression by the limits of pre-made animations to produce body movement, we tend to lack most facial gestures, and emote what we'd otherwise use our bodies to communicate. We buy or make skins, shapes, hair, eyes, etc. born from limited tools. Then, we're surrounded by others that create a general 'normality' particular to the realm. People tend to be at least 6 feet tall, darkly tanned or pale white, skinny, muscled, etc.. So we are prone to incorporate these general conditions into ourselves. Again there tend to be generalities within subcultures or niches (Vamp, furry, thug, etc.).
Second Life can produce some interesting ways of operating and perceiving because we can drastically modify our appearances, take more time to consider our responses, and conduct ourselves in a relatively anonymous environment that is usually free from offline accountability.
Environment is the key here, in my view. Though I'd caveat that by saying it does not diminish the importance of Second Life, nor its positive effects. And we can willfully alter how we operate in our environments, and learn throughout.
Wow, Kaia, this blog is soo interesting and your subject is something I think about A LOT! I like to take a lot of pics in-world and I often stay up late, bleary eyed, just hanging out. Just the other day, I woke up in RL and checked the oics in my computer and there were pics of Dayna in there that I did not remember taking the night before. I mean no memory of it. There I was getting a peak of my Avis life that I wasn't even aware of. I'm sooo glad she left the pics for me. OK this doesn't happen often. In fact it was the first time but your post really struck a chord with me. It really makes you think about who we really are in-world and out in RL. I am much more reserved in RL and OMG Dayna is so much more fun-loving and most of all generous with herself. But she is with me all the time in RL adn I know that her good qualities are really the best in me...and that they are slowly enterng my rl experience. Thank u sooo much for your blog and your post Kaia!... :Dayna
thank you flack and dayna for your input.
the main objective of this post was for you to think about what aspects of yourself are present in SL that you repress in RL. Sure, environment and age and role of other humans is relevant to how we present ourselves. But, I'm talking more about what Dayna said. her avie is more outgoing and fun-loving. Well Dayna, that is just it. You are your avie, so that nature is part of you. Don't let your environment repress that in RL so SL is the only time that part of your spirit is permitted to shine! :D
Wow. I step away from heavy SL time for a couple of months and you go and create all sorts of goodies.
I love it. I love everything you do and I hope your creativity well never runs dry.
See you around. :)
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